Went to watch The Phantom Of The Opera @ Esplanade. Imagine it, the very first time I watched a musical I have known for years. The melodies couldn't be more similar, and what was new was the visual impact. Simply splendid. It was miraculous how they fully utilized the limited space on the stage to make the Paris Opera House relive with the "sea-change" of light and colours. Characters and actions were crystalized into highly picturesque moments, and the music added life to them. The organ was awesome. I was so overwhelmed at the beginning I almost cried. Imagine, the Phantom theme I have been so familiar all these years and today I was sitting there so close to everything and watching the chandelier rise. I was trembling in the darkness with the music of the night. Once I close my eyes I can see every detail of the chandelier, the candlelight, the mask of the phantom I can hear the pulse and breath of the violin the cello the organ the piano I can sense the fear and love the depression the sorrow of the characters. The wonder is beyond words.

And Webber is GENIUS.

And Sarah Brightman and Michael Crowford are geniuses as well. This time the singers are much less expressive compared to them. The way the emotions are expressed is not that sophisticated but overly exaggerated. And they didn't seem to control their breath very well. The Christine sometimes went off-pitch. But anyway it was no easy task.

Think of methink of me fondly,
when we've said goodbye.
Remember me, once in a while,
please promise me you'll try.

When you find that, once again,
you long to take your heart back and be free
if youever finda moment,
spare a thought for me.

We never said our lovewas evergreen,
or as unchanging as the sea -
but ifyou can still remember
stop and think of me

Think of all the things
we've shared and seen
don't think about the things
which might have been

Think of me,think of me waking,
silent and resigned.
Imagine me,trying too hard
to put youfrom my mind.

Recall those days, look back on all those times,
think of the things we'll never do -
there will never be a day,
whenI won't thinkof you

We never said our love was evergreen,
or as unchanging as the sea-
but please promise me,that sometimes
you will think of me!

I like the lyrics, haha. Actually if I were Christine I'd rather marry the phantom. Serious.

cant regret. cant regret for my own choice, and chances are not always granted to me. cant wish to start everything again, cant wish for more changes. thats far too luxurious. Have to gather myself, have to stick to what it is. No Blanca cant be distracted like this any more. Blanca needs to settle down for studies. Stop being fickle. Stop thinking about thing that are unrealistic. Stop day-dreaming. May such disconnection end. Now.

1. Didnt manage to keep myself awake to watch RM vs Valen. How sad. Moro poor dear, he kept his words and scored but Valen still lost. I think I am random and odd and unreasonable, supporing RM and Valen at the same time. U think I make myself this way? No! I happen to love them both... theres nothing I can do to change it. So, let it be. But I was rather sad that Valen lost. (Okay okay ignore me Im being illogical) Sigh, they have to compete with RM to be qualified for nxt yr's champion league.... =(

2. Daniel Yeang said he is cute! OMG he said he was not jealous of Ramos because he is as cute!!! OMG can u imagine Daniel saying this? I was shouting at the top of my voice to SJ that I didnt know he is so....well...自恋...and I was virtually choked with laughter.... he is not jealous of Ramos because he is no less cute than him.... oh my poor Sergio... (Sry Daniel I don't mean to be offensive I was just amused =P )

3. SJ has an enormous RP problem! RP=ren pin=character. The moment she wanted to type something evil her network failed. OH she has been thinking about dunking me one day. Don't ever think about getting back at me this way I tell you. I would make your future life most "enjoyable" I promise.

4. *evil smile* SJ is entirely ignorant of who IL (....) is. I didn't know I have been so successful in concealing it. I don't do it that consciously, everything just comes naturally. It's true that I don't want it to be know to ANYBODY but don't put in any effort to veil it anyway. Maybe I put on this façade instinctively or something. Can't believe I am so composed talking about this, feel somehow out of place. HAHA at least it proves that SJ is LESS EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT than me HAHAHA, I feel so fulfilled.

5. discovered a huge genius, Mr Magnet (according to SJ. Oh my I laughed until my stomuch hurt) who could understand at least 60% or 75% of the poem I posted in my Chinese blog and 100% of another post!!! And I was posting in traditional Chinese! Amazing isn't it. Must be disgraceful for SJ coz she didn't manage to understand that much. Keep it up, buddy.

6. SJ looks upset and disturbed and just now she almost jumped away from her laptop. guess what, she is watching Night at the Museum. So wordless. Last time LQ, B-chan and I laughed so hard. Its purely amusing, SJ. not scary at all. frightened like this and you wanna watch horror movie, you've got the guts.

7. This afternoon SY was suddenly inspired to order pizza, SJ and I joined her. Full to death. Had to walk up and down. And after that SY even went down for dinner!!!!! 2/3 of a pizza and dinner some more!!! What a feast, mademoiselle. U meant to compensate for ur inadequate lunch this way??? Oh tian.

8. I miss Baby, Bee-chan, and my dearest senior =(

9. Ping will say goodbye to his boyhood; he will join us to be an adult very soon. Thinking about venturing into RJ to deliver the gift... Sadly ACS dismisses us much later than RJ does.

10. I WANT MY STUDENT PASS AND PASSPORT BACK!!!! so depressed.

PS. SJ IS GREATLY ENCHANTED BY MR MAGNET!!! WAHHAHAHAHA

Someone who has read my chinese blog actually thought that I was a guy and that my template is far too cissy. OMG, this is hilarious. I know I don't write in a feminine style, and this is a powerful proof of the non-bourgeousie, non-schoolgirlish, non-trivial (such word?) style of writing. And glad to see that I haven't totally forgotten my Chinese...

Best wishes for dear Tania. I believe she has made a wise choice, that she will follow her heart and her dreams. If ever I had a chance, I guess I would also break free from the current situation, to adventure into and to pursue for a difference. It's always hard to leave what you love behind, we all so attached to our schools. But when the times comes to cut the tie, we have to make ourselves forget. Need to have a firmer grip on life. Jia You Tania. <3<3<3

Wahhahaha SJ was dunked!!! Let's cheer!!! Hooray!!! So funny but sad I wasn't there to watch. Well she must be so mad reading this entry. Anyway SJ if you happen to drop by and spot my words here, do remember to take care of yourself....hope that you know what I mean. Haha, glad that you had fun today. And should not have heard about the "fantasy"from her, made me scared. I am really sick of this sense of insecurity; I think I am being paranoid and superstitious. Have made up my mind not to go out alone in Taiwan, should preferably kidnap HDL or anybody else to protect me at any time. Talking about OEP I am quite worried about VISA and air-ticket. My passport needs to be returned and new student pass issued ASAP or I'll hate any delay caused.

Mi quierida hermanastra I miss you badly and empathize with you, not knowing but understanding your struggle for the final exam. Dear, my best wishes are always with you. Remember your star-gazing, because you will see my wishes written all over the place in the moonlight, in the night sky. Believe me, you will! I feel guilty that I do not have carnation flowers or anything else to be sent to you, but in our dreams we see each other isn't it? My dear I am going back this June and after your exams we'll go out and play for the whole day! So beat it.

P.S Can the PRC scholars not teach others those swear words anymore??? I can't stand to hear them being uttered=.= Nothing wrong if they know them, but once they have learnt them they will be most eager to PRACTISE. Oh my, can you imagine those innocent-looking kids babbling out such dirty words???

I am willing to surrender every instant of my memories to forgetfulness, knowing that Fate's ruthlessness and randomness overpower me. Please labour me so that I can forget. Please make IT vanish on the borderline between the night sky and the ignorant drowsy earth. Please shackle the uncontrolled wings of my emotions. Please let everything return to yesteryear. In this summertime, I leave my spirit to the surreal labyrinth of dream.

The dark, ominous, austere, disturbing, oppressive, notorious, horrendous, thick, warm, unnecessary S.C.H.O.O.L S.O.C.K.S.

http://hi.baidu.com/driftingiris

well, this time a blog in chinese. Really need to practise writing in chinese. after all thats my mother tongue and is what i used to be exemplary in. will be most tragic if the standard drops. so thats it. and guess SOME people will be surprised in a pleasant way that I start to do this...

说再见，就是再也不相见。所以，亲爱的队长、二队长，离别的时候，请不要说再见。





心痛莫名，痛极痛极。

不能语，锁喉舌。

西北望，心肝断绝。

相失而莫忘，有歌凄以哀。

低歌萦骨，一寸寸皆是蚀心的昨日，遥远的，不可及的，于是有了徒劳怅惘。

心灰泪竭。

见天星如雪。

while everybody cheers for the grand victory of ManU. I am sad, I am lost, as if a part of my heart has gone missing.

Shevchenko. What's that about him that deserves people's boast? 我呸。

So tell me how to fill this emptiness inside;
All this pain, does it go away?

Adiós, mi amo.

OH NO VALENCIA OUT!!! IT HURTS, I TELL YOU. IT SIMPLY HURTS SO MUCH.
WHY VALENCIA? WHY SO SOON?
OH MY DEAR VALEN I SO MUCH WANT TO CRY FOR US.

If dear Raúl ever leaves Reál Madríd, will I still be supporting the club as I have done? Frankly speaking, I doubt it. Well, probably I will, because of José, Íker and Sergío, because of them ONLY. The club, I guess it will mean something to me no more. I am sorry RM, if that ever happens. Without Raúl it is only a RM-shaped hole in the universe, soul-less. I admit that I have to be emotional here; I am no longer reasoning or something. I love Íker and José, yes I LOVE them, but somehow they cannot be equalized with Raúl. He is the Captain, our Captain forever, guiding us leading us ensuring that we are comforted and soothed. As a fan of Spain I worship him the same way I as a fan of Argentina worship Maradona. It´s sheer a matter of sentimentality. You may say that I am a fake soccer fan; I don't care. I don't care. Soccer to me is about nothing else but Life and Love. Without Love what is Life? I don't care about what others say; I only care about what I love and who I love. Fake soccer fan or not, does it really matter to me? No. I love it and I love it, love it as an art, a shrunk image of life itself. And nobody is there to keep me from loving, absolutely not. So whatever happens, I will just follow my heart. That may explain why I support RM, Barça and Valéncia at the same time. You say I am insane, I just smile at it. No, explanation is not needed. Explanation is only a form of uncertainty. My Love has nothing to do with uncertainty.

So I will follow Raúl the same way I follow my heart, wherever he goes. And sorry RM, he will carry my love away. Not with the club any longer if he is not there. The club I mean. But not Iker, Jose and Sergio.

Oh you see I am confusing. I am confusing because I am confused. I can´t find suitable words to express my feelings, but I guess it is a kind of desperate and disillusioned loyalty. All because I heard that Raúl is leaving. Dear dear Captain.

蝶恋花 for Raul 2006-9-25
鬓角秋风凉欲碎，隔断秋星，炯炯秋时泪。还向无言秋水底，敛眉细读深秋意。
玉样年华知有几？素梦丹心，总被征尘累。肯待他年春不寐，杜鹃啼彻英雄地。

蝶恋花 for Raul, once again 2006-9-30
向晚繁华成寂索，冻入单衣，顿使愁如蚀。雨殿风城千百尺，茫茫底处华胥国？
听取离人思旧笛。岁岁尘劳，能惯生涯逸？天寒想见凝眉仄，遍倚深山修竹碧。

TE QUIERO.

Blanca is no green form queen. Blanca is simply tired, tired of nothing, tired of anything, so tired I cant think anymore and my brain cant function normally. Had an extremely depressing day yesterday. Its simply saddening when things somehow go against your will and your expectations, time after time, until you have to root out your previous faith. "future" is a troublesome term and it pains to watch its illusion occur and fade, reoccur and vanish again. So much misled that I don't know what reality can be.

Oh Blanca simply needs to have a really good rest, to get rid of all the nagging thoughts and feelings. To start new, to relive, although there is no possibility of doing so. Cant wish yesterday once more, cant expect the second chance, because everything has already been decided and I simply need to hold on. I walk this empty street, on the boulevard of broken dreams. Its ironic isn't it.

Lets move on. Lets move on. My prince scored so I should cheer.

¡Te quiero, Raúl!

Oh, and how could I forget this. 5th April was Moro's 31st birthday!!! Belated Feliz Cumpleaños to dear Fernando!!!

轻轻的我将离开你
请将眼角的泪拭去
漫漫长夜里
未来日子里
亲爱的你别为我哭泣
前方的路虽然太凄迷
请在笑容里为我祝福
虽然迎著风
虽然下著雨
我在风雨之中念著你
没有你的日子里
我会更加珍惜自己
没有我的岁月里
你要保重你自己
你问我何时归故里
我也轻声地问自己
不是在此时
不知在何时
我想大约会是在冬季
-End-

Ms Goh said that's a clichéd ending; don;t want it. She said it to us, a class full of dodo-birds. One dodo, two dodos, three dodos.... and I am the forgetful dodo, can't even remember the population size of our class. Was it 41? Or 42? Then I realize that my memories, and my feeling, cannot be trusted. Reminiscence approximately equals to disillusionment. I guess that one starts to miss something only when he finds out that he can never get it back. Never, this is the irreversible nature of Time. All-powerful time, making everything pale and fade away. Was it last year, or two years ago, when I tried to recall all my ex-classmates' names, those people in China? The moment you entre a new realm, your past begins to wither but your memories prosper. Memories with a mirror mask, with thousands of mirror masks, reflecting, refracting, blocking you from gazing into the void of the past. Maybe it's not advisable to retrospect, because the road behind you is twisting and twining, losing its originality. BUT I MISS CRESCENT. Nothing in particular about Crescent, but Crescent itself. The name, the sound of the word, the identity associated with the yellow and blue colours. And how carefree we were. Oh no not exactly. It is amusing how bitterness is turned to sweetness once you no longer undergo the bitterness. I used to cry, disappointed, disturbed, but now I come to think it sorrow free and carefree. Hallucination or not, there is no point of return. You can never seize what exists in your memory.

So after these two years, I find myself owing them many thanks. Owe the teachers, because I have been an irresponsible student. And I don't have the power to change this. Their tolerance and understanding I won’t forget, and I am honestly grateful for their care. Coming to think about it I feel aged (don't laugh). Things have changed, and a lot of incidents in between. In Sec3 Mr Jo left, and this year Mr Tan bade us (or them?) farewell. Last year during Crescentian Reunion I was wondering how it would be in 60th anniversary and now I guess I won't go back then. Pointless.

Oh they were celebrating Mr Wong's birthday one moment ago. Reminds me of Nanyang. I haven't liked it but still miss it somehow. Well human beings have this greedy nature and yield to the fondness of things they no longer possess. My ex-roommates must merrily enjoy their life now and I doubt if they will occasionally think of the old days during their chatting, like me? With whom do I think alike?

In two years' time I'll leave ACS as well. Will I recall the presence then, in the same nostalgic mood? Last time I felt attached to Crescent. Same feeling now, feel the close connection to my current school.

And people may get far apart from one another.

Look at what I bought:
--banana x 1.15kg
--one medium size pomelo
--one vera
--two coconuts
--two sweet corns
--one packet of celery
--one packet of carrots
--one can of lotus nuts
--one can of gingko nuts
--pringles original (junk food isn't it? Obviously not for me. This is so SJ-ish!!! XD)
--flat mop+refill (I wonder how you are going to comment on this, SJ or anybody else)
Oh only if Jeanette saw this. I know too well that she would gasp at the sight of the long list and would be talking about those Unohana-Aizen stuff, astonished, astounded, stunned. Haha, I am quite sure that my shopping scene this June will be much more splendid than this! Not many interesting items listed above? Oh no I have the habits of a doctor. I had such a great sense of fulfilment, having bought all these. But I really should have gone to some other supermarket or hypermarket like Carrefour, instead of Cold Storage. Bloodily costly. And I especially dislike the one in taka. The layout was unorganized and plain and tasteless. Talking of this reminds me of the one in Sixth Ave, yes j'aime beaucoup! Not showy, neither is it magnificent or something, but somehow there is this soothing and relaxing element.

The queue for cabs was kind of endless, I'd like to snap a pic of the huge queue if I had either of my hands spare. Actually I shouldn’t have taken my cam out with me, didn't use it at all. Was just unwilling to leave it in the empty, solitary, insects-dominant dorm. Like what I said, I owe it a lot.

I wonder if I am getting corrupted. Evidence listed below:
--sent messages to ppl during class. Just imagine me doing this! I don't mean this is something amazing, but I wasn't even aware of the need of bringing my phone to school. And nowadays certain subjects make me so bored.
--brought camera to school and tried to create chaos among certain people. Well, enjoy life, enjoy school.
--afraid that I'm addicted to Delifrance. Not only because of the food, but the ambience as well. Maybe I should explore those more classic French restaurants to have a feel.
--took a cab from don't-know-where to hostel, once a day for four or five days? Liked the journey, nice sightseeing sessions =) especially tonight, how has it been since I gazed at the outside world through the window? The lamplight was simply touching, and the darkness of the night was by no means oppressive. Embraced the night like longing for a shelter. Yes I loved it. And passed by Holiday Inn. Last day in Crescent, graduating night. Don't you feel sometimes Time just has this miraculous effect and can change so many things? Oh Yesterday already seems so distant and unfamiliar. Oh yeah tonight's journey was uncannily delightful, the radio happened to be playing Fei Yuqing's songs! Have been listening to Cai Qin these days and wondering since when I have begun to follow my mum's taste, but anyway our tastes have been naturally but surprisingly similar. And Fei Yuqing is magically charming! His gentle and intoxicating voice is second to none. The moment I recognized his voice, (in the cab), I virtually leapt and exclaimed. Encantadora, haha.

My baga laptop almost gave me a heart attack. It remained so dead for don't-know-how-long, and the stupid me sent the same message to 15+ people asking for help. They must have thought me crazy or something, tomorrow being FOOL'S DAY. Nice joke, hmmmmm. But dear Madame/Monsieur Laptop, you did it several hours earlier.

Forget to mention that I finally received my history textbook. Okay I'm going to start my school life, officially, which comprises of STUDIES! I hate wasting time, although this seems to be what I have been doing. Please I am looking forward to a change.

Oh life is different. It has been different since the day I came here. Back in China I wouldn't dream about myself going all around the city literally alone, let alone travelling in the highway at night. An enormous difference. Was talking to SJ that we have all changed. Life has begun to form shape.

31/03/2007

1st April now. Enjoy this fools' day, all the dear dodo-birds.