Laugh,and sigh.

It's no hearty laughter. It's the laughter of sarcasm. How marvelous I have been, to top the level in Spanish, to excel in English, to go beyond my expectations for history, and to be the last one for business. I am a genius, always successful at doing things wilfully, and at failing. I hate my marks for biz, it makes me absurd. Not so much humiliating yet, but I still hate it. I'd rather level the grades of all my six subjects, so that I don't stand out among the others, neither positively nor negatively. No I'm not saying I care about how others look at it, but I don't feel good myself. I don't feel good to fail this speechlessly. Sigh. I'm always following my own will, so much so that some of my potentials have been hidden and it has become hard to dig them out.

Now look at this, message from my previous literature teacher, after I told her my English and Spanish results: Fantastic! It's wonderful to note how the mindset of excellence has never left you. We are all mighty proud of you. Keep the flame of perseverance burning.

So now how do you feel? My first Lit teacher once said, she (me) is a good student--Well, she Was a good student, and she will be a good one. What's the point? I guess I have never been a good student throughout these nineteen years of my life. A good student has good disciplines and organisation; but I not. I follow my passion, and this makes me a good learner instead of a good STUDENT. Anyway I think I was a bit depressed today, and my performance in humanities wasn't good enough to comfort me.

And one more thing, THE CHANGE OF MY EE SUPERVISER IS MADDENING!!!